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Friday, October 8, 2010

Nigerian Men: A female’s age as an invisible barrier

Disclaimer: This is not to criticize all Nigerian men.

Females, unfortunately this has probably happened to you once, several times, hell you may have even lost count. A Nigerian man twice, triple, or quadruple your age has boldly confronted you with admiration. For you it may have been at a wedding reception, convention, or some kind of special occasion, but one thing is for sure, it’s disgusting. Just the thought of a much older man hitting on you is upsetting and the first thing that comes to mind is, “Shift, your old enough to be my dad. Tufiakwa. What makes you think, fine fine girl like me would ever want anything to do with you? Look at me and look at you, there can never, whatsoever be an attraction; sexually or physically.” The older these men get, the younger the women they go after.

This past weekend I was invited to attend one of the many celebrations held in recognition of Nigeria’s 50th independence. I was invited by an executive board member who I hadn’t yet met but because I was there on assignment I called him to let him know I would be coming. That night he was responsible for collecting guests’ admission fees and checking off their names. I walked in, and before getting through to the main hall I introduced myself in the lobby and explained I was the person who he spoke with over the phone. He stared me down from head to toe then asked where in Nigeria am I from. I answered him, and then he made a remark about how gorgeous I was. I payed it no mind then made my way inside, free of paying due to the circumstances of which I was there. I sat at a reserved table and from across the room I noticed a woman who wore matching lace identical to the treasurer’s so of course it was safe to conclude he was married. Then I saw a young boy who looked about 7 also wearing matching lace so it was safe to assume he had a child; a family. I laughed at how his story just kept unfolding all throughout the night as I continued on with the ceremony. When it was over I said bye, thanked him for inviting me, and told him I would e-mail him the work I was supposed to. He said, “Ok, if you want to talk more just call or text me. Maybe I can take you out.” NAWAOO. Can you imagine? A married man with a kid and yet he had the nerve to over-step his boundaries and try turning business into pleasure. I didn’t respond, I just quickened my pace and made my way to the exit. However, that wasn’t it, his chase wasn’t over. He literally jogged out of the hall to catch me before I finally left. This was an effort to get me privately, away from his wife. He asked me how I got to the event and I told him I drove there, but he stated that if I had no way of getting back home that he would take me. I said to myself, “This guy has never met me before, without shame, how can he say to me, a stranger, that he is willing to take me home.” I was pissed, though I kept my composure and left without response.

This man is married to a doctor, a very successful pediatrician who is not too good looking so I am sure why he married her, but the point is he’s married, and to make things even better she’s a doctor. Enjoy ooo. Seriously, Nigerian men whether married or single have no limits to pursuing a female. Whether in her late teens to mid twenties, for Nigerian men age is no barrier.

I guessed his age to be no less than 50, a few years under half my age and for the record, I certainly look it. His remarks and actions were all too typical of how Nigerian men act toward young females.


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